Ben Franklin Fart Essay

Ben Franklin Fart Essay-55
"Hitler suffered from uncontrollable farting," Dawson says."By 1936, the cramps were so severe, he said that he could scream." So Hitler’s consulted Berlin doctor Theodor Morell, who prescribed Dr.

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In Dante’s Divine Comedy, the final line of Inferno chapter 21 reads: ed elli avea del cul fatto trombetta.

Translation: “And he used his butt as a trumpet.” In Chaucer’s “The Miller’s Tale,” the poor student, Nicholas, blows a bean before the parish clerk, Absalom.

In fact, Horton was dead by its release date, robbed of the chance of basking in his historical significance.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Bernard Clemmens of London has the longest official butt burp at 2 minutes, 42 seconds.

Koester’s Anti-Gas pills, which contained the poisons in amounts that were less than immediately lethal.

(And this still may have been better than Hitler's favorite fart medication before that, which contained machine oil.) By early 1941, when Hitler was invading the Soviet Union, he was up 120 to 150 pills a week.

So I suppose if anybody is qualified to be your fart historian, offering you the most comprehensive exploration of historical farts ever assembled, it would be me. It started when Apries sent one of his generals, Amasis, to quash a rebellion among his troops. The guy "pulled back his garment, and cowering down after an indecent manner, turned his breech to the Jews, and spake such words as you might expect upon such a posture." This angered the Jews, the angriest of whom began stoning the soldiers.

But the rebels crowned Amasis the new king which, as Mel Brooks would note a millennium and a half later, it's good to be. The Roman leader of Jerusalem, Cumanus (no joke), called in backup and a riot ensued.

Taking the stage name Le Petomane (fartomaniac), the Frenchman went on perpetual tour, ass-blowing out candles, ass-playing the flute and even ass-smoking cigarettes.

At his peak, Le Petomane outgrossed even popular actress Sarah Bernhardt—in every sense of the word "outgrossed." Not that Adolf Hitler wasn’t already crazy, but it couldn't have helped that the flatulence he suffered—according to medical reports—led him to poison himself with medications containing strychnine and Atropene.


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